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Post by Mexico on Jun 30, 2012 17:02:52 GMT -6
Perhaps wondering around inside the house was not the brightest idea. The seemingly endless corridors of closed down windows and big white walls was almost suffocating. Mexico could not recall the last time she had seen the clear bright blue sky. She could not recall how long she had been walking around up and down, up and down the house. Mostly she relied on her adventurous side to take her to somewhere exciting and full of mystery. But then again, maybe the saying was true. Be careful what you wish for? Mexico stopped for a moment as her feet started to ache. She yearned for a moment were she could simply kicked her shoes aside and run around barefoot. However, given the circumstances such would not be wise. Wise. Wise. Wise. God, she had started to hate the meaning of that word. In this little godforsaken place. Always having to watch her back. Run. Hide. Lie. Repeat for as many times as necessary. It was all so exhausting.
She shouldn't have to hide, to run, or even find a way around survival if there wasn't anything nasty and dangerous roaming around the place. She shouldn't have to hide if it wasn't chasing her. Everyone. Ana María had done her fair share of quite stupid and reckless things but it would've never occurred to her that the ultimate ending would be the result of a simple invitation. She should've said no. She should've stayed at home. But how was she to know, really?
She sighed for a moment as she pressed her back against the cold wall. Slowly, she allowed her body to fall tiredly to the ground. She needed to find the others. This new feeling of loneliness was too much to bare. And maybe, if she wasn't alone she wouldn't have to hear the nasty voices in her head. Each as cynical as the other. Screaming the words of bitter truth in her mind. Planning out what will happen to her, if she failed to get out alive. Prisoner. You'll never reach for your dreams. You'll never know what you've might've...Done...Seen...Had...Known...Loved in your life. You'll never know or feel happiness. And you'll wonder. And the doug twill eat you alive. It'll eat you for breakfast, for lunch, for dinner. While every single one of your dreams laughs. And those tears were the ones that really mattered.
With one deep breath, Mexico stood up once more. She could not allow herself to fall down to her knees when it was clear this was just beginning. She had known, seen, felt things which were worst. Worst than dying, worst than screaming, worst than thinking there will never be a light to go to or a blanket to cuddle in. She shook her head, in attempt to erase every thought as mischievous and foul as the next. She whipped away the tears from the past and reluctantly posed for the camera. A camera as her view of the outside world. It worked better than a mirror. Así si haces de tu cara una mascara. Of course, it had worked well so far.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 9, 2012 0:39:16 GMT -6
So, it seemed she was back to this. The aimless walks through endless, deathly silent halls. Total isolation. Nothing but herself and the darkness that was seeping into every nook, cranny and corner and consuming them with shadows. Belgium was no stranger to this emptiness. In fact, upon arrival at the manor it seemed that wandering through the darkness was all she had done. And at first, yes, the loneliness had been frightening. But now it seemed almost normal to the European. She was getting used to solitude.
Funny, Emma Lambert thought to herself, her fingers drumming out a soft rhythm on the handle of her pistol crossbow. It was odd how one minute the thought of ever being alone terrified her. Now though, it seemed she was getting used to it. Not entirely, of course. She would prefer to have company than this. But on the other hand, she'd much rather be alone than with whatever was lurking the house.
Just keep moving forward, put on a brave face and stay alert. That was the best Belgium could do now. No point trying to find a way out. There wasn't one. They were all trapped in here until someone did find some way of escape. However, those chances seemed to be slipping further and further away with each passing moment.
For a moment, her thoughts went to the other imprisoned nations, or at least the ones she knew were stuck in the same situation as her. Norway, America, her brother… Belgium wondered if they were all feeling the same thing right now. Lost. Confused. Alone. Scared. Was America regretting inviting everyone to this ridiculous party? Was Norway still managing to keep a brave face? Was Netherlands missing her…?
The blonde woman froze as tears began to sting her olive green eyes. It wasn't true. Belgium was absolutely terrified, being so alone in a place like this. The emptiness, the lack of laughter and chattering voices had been driving her insane before. And just when she thought she had gotten over her ridiculous fear of solitude, it had come creeping back to haunt her. No, Belgium would never get used to this. Not in a million years.
But how could one who had been through so much, seen so much hurt and loneliness be afraid of being alone? Emma had often wondered this much about herself. It was probably the most ridiculous fear any nation had. Yet, there was still something; no matter how childish Belgium thought she was acting by having such a fear, she couldn't help but still feel so afraid. Right now, the dark hallways weren't giving her much comfort.
In one fluid motion, the blonde woman started moving again, quickening up her pace. Her eyes darted round the corridor as she searched for someone, anyone who could give her just a little bit of hope... Then she saw the figure. Not to far ahead, her back turned to the Belgian. Belgium let out a soft gasp before speeding up, running towards the other. With a desperate sounding cry, she shouted out to the other female nation.
"Mexico!"
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Post by Mexico on Jul 9, 2012 12:19:33 GMT -6
She placed her hands over the white walls, listening to the whispers buried within. White walls that were painted over with blood stains of their victims. And you'd do anything to escape the voices. Screaming in pain as they call your name. The girl with the chocolate brown eyes could not understand why being inside those hazardous walls affected her in such a way. She could feel things and hear things she had never. She wondered if the other nations did so as well. Like absorbing every ounce of sanity until she's left alone in the middle of her mind. For torture this was such a clever plan. Admirable even. Finding a way to weaken your enemy, not physically but mentally, until they are at your feet begging you to kill them. Maybe it was because she could sense Death roaming across the walls as well. It was clear she had been here before, obeying her duty but not letting their souls rest in peace. Who would really? Just because you die does not mean you are finally free. Sometimes it just means you're buried deeper.
Mexico continued walking down the hallway but her hand never cease to stop touching. It was difficult for her to explain. As though she was feeling the house, trying to find its weaknesses. Yes, the house was alive as well. Every part of it, working like a body. And if she could find the place were it was most vulnerable, then maybe she could find her way out. An object is just as strong as its weakest point. However, it didn't make sense for it to be an easier task. With every touch her mind played games. The voices grew stronger, now darkness was all she saw. The silence slowly suffocate her. They claimed that living was a sin. And she should follow their orders and know the meaning of guilt.
Guilt. Never mind fear, loss, or abandonment, guilt was the one thing that could eat her alive. She was the perfect dictatorship. For over 70 years she cheated, lied, stole, without ever granting the benefit of the doubt. Her word was law. Nobody doubted, nobody corrected, nobody dared to prove them wrong. Not even her. Then the system changed and she developed feelings. Great. But you cannot duel on the past. It was pointless. What was done could not be changed. Just smile. Ignore. Pretend.
"Mexico!"
She jumped startled when she heard her name. It had been a while since she had heard the voice of a stranger. She had forgotten how reassuring it felt to know she was not alone. She had even forgotten how her own voice sounded like, if it still reside in her, if it was still one of the things she was sure of. Mexico turned around and saw the silhouette of blonde girl running towards her. Belgium. She sighed in relief, but she was still a little shaken. "Belgium." Her voice sounded dry and it was merely a whisper. She cleared her throat but it did not do much good. "Are you alone?" She asked. It wasn't the question she had meant to ask but it was the only one she could manage to say. At least, for the time being.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 7, 2012 14:59:31 GMT -6
Belgium picked up her pace to reach the other woman until she was standing beside the Hispanic nation, offering her a gentle smile. Although she didn’t really know Mexico so well, she couldn’t help but notice that she didn’t seem to be in her usual brighter demeanour. She seemed dazed, slightly out of it as her hands traced along the walls that were trapping them inside the mansion. Emma wasn’t surprised that the other wasn’t acting the same, though. Nobody was anymore. They were all getting affected in different ways.
Emma herself was just scared almost all the time. And she was pretty sure that she was going crazy. If it wasn’t for the messed up sense of time that was driving the Belgian up the wall, it was the lack of human interaction for what felt like hours, days upon end. Yes, there were moments of brief comfort from other nations she had short interactions with, but in comparison to the length of time they’d spent in the manor in total, it was nothing.So, she was relieved to say the very least to have some human interaction, even with a nation who she never really had connection with before. Still, a familiar face was better than no face at all.
“Belgium. Are you alone?”
Emma blinked in surprise at Mexico’s peculiar question, tilting her head slightly to one side. Her lips pursing into a thin line, she slowly nodded and gently placed a hand on the other girl’s shoulder. Belgium could see that, clearly, she must have been scared too. Why else would she as such a question? After all, it sadly made her sound a little paranoid. Belgium couldn’t blame her, though. She thought that the others, where ever the others were, were also becoming growingly fearful about their surroundings.
“Ja, I’m alone,” the blonde replied softly, keeping her voice low and gentle. Her eyes were filled with concern as she focused on the other woman. “Are you alright? You seem... out of it.”
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Post by Mexico on Aug 8, 2012 9:39:57 GMT -6
Belgium's voice seemed like a far away echo in the puzzling mind of the Latin American girl. Even a stranger could notice that there was a hint of emptiness in her eyes. Her usual trademark grin had disappear as though it had never been present in her face. She had bags under her eyes like sleep ceased to exit. All around she looked tired and much older than she actually was. It was true, she was not the same. Mexico was trapped in an emotional battle. A battle between survival and defeat. She was not afraid of dying. What she was afraid of relied on the living life. Her fears had managed to materialize in front of her. This manor did not just want to kill them, it wanted them to suffer. Torture in the most cruel way. Ana María had fought endlessly the voices in her head. Her secrets, regrets, dark thoughts had managed to escape the crystal boxes in which she had placed them and were taking over her body and mind, demanding she gave them the importance she had opted not to for so long. But they were too many to count and they all wanted revenge.
Tracing her fingers through the walls, Mexico wished she could just stop listening. it was clear souls were trapped in here but she did not want to be able to feel, even listen to them every time she payed attention. They thought it was her responsibility and it was not. She sighed for a moment taking a deep breath. Her knuckles pressed hard against the wall as if though to break them. For the first time she turned to look at Belgium straight in the eyes. Her green color was the same. Frightened but it had not lost its essence. Mexico wondered what she would find if she stared the same way at her chocolate brown eyes.
"I-" But she was unable to form a sentence. She cleared her throat looking for an answer. The question made her uncomfortable to say the least. She did not want to admit what she was fighting so endlessly to make herself believe. She did not want to seem weak and grant the manor the benefit of the doubt. But at the same time not answering would rise suspicion. Questions she did not want to have to answer as a result of this one.
Damned if you do and damned if you don't.
Mexico took another deep breath as she closed her eyes for a second. Calm and collected. She said in her mind. Calm and collected. It had been those things that had first helped her in her battle against Fear. If she could do it once she could certainly managed to do it again. She just had to believe, allow herself to have some hope. "I'm as fine as you can get in this place." She said with little emotion but not completely cold. If she hadn't failed to speak the first time she would've fell to her lie. It was surprising how much she lied to people. How much she managed to fool them when it came to being personal. She protected herself too much and that was perhaps her greatest weakness.
She gave Belgium a small reassuring smile. The european nation was alone and that fact seemed to unsettle her even further. Mexico just wanted to see the others. Make sure they were okay. So that maybe she could stop that nagging feeling inside her that something was so desperately wrong.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 11, 2012 11:03:33 GMT -6
Belgium had never seen a nation looking as exhausted as Mexico appeared in that moment. Yes, they had all been through the hardships of their history, and yet there was something different about Mexico’s outward appearance. She appeared to be almost hollow; with vacant, tired eyes that were practically lifeless. Then again, Emma herself knew that she probably looked no better than the Latin American woman. Whilst Mexico looked completely drained of energy, Belgium was tense and wide-eyed. Every muscle in her body seemed to stiffen and then relax quickly in a strange cycle, making it seem like the blonde was constantly trembling. Her green orbs were darting around, scanning the dark corridor and searching the shadows with paranoia as though expecting something to pounce. Maybe there was something hiding; it was impossible to say what could happen next is such a place. Just the thought caused Belgium to shudder again, sending shock-waves of fear rushing through her veins and making every nerve in her body to twitch. This chain reaction of fear was mirrored when her arms trembled again. She must have looked a terrible state there. Who would have thought that great nations would end up like this? Belgium had never imagined it herself.
A shaky breath escaped half-parted lips as the woman leaned tiredly against the wall, as though she needed something to support herself before her trembling legs gave out beneath her. For a moment Emma just leaned there, back pressed up against the dust-covered wall, hands trying to clutch onto the surface behind and head tilted back slightly, resting against the brick so that blonde locks were pushed up slightly. Gathering herself together, Emma contemplated the situation. Everyone was reaching breaking point; Belgium herself was sure she was not far off it. And as she stood there, staring into those rich chocolate brown eyes that were locked on hers, she couldn't help but wonder how far away Mexico was from breaking too.
The hesitation in Ana María’s voice could hardly be missed. It seemed that every nation the Belgian had encountered had not wanted to just admit to the fear they were all facing. Of course, Emma had no real idea about what exactly was going on in the Hispanic woman’s head, but she knew for sure that Mexico was anything but “all right”. That would have been impossible to be. Anyone who could consider themselves fine in this situation was clearly messed up in some way. No, it was clear to Belgium that Mexico was fighting back something, trying to keep it hidden so that her mask would not get broken or damaged.
The Mexican was trying to calm herself now. As though it was a cue for Belgium to try and do the same, she stood upright and started breathing deeply, soothing herself with the sound of her own breath and the sight of another nation. At least she wasn't alone at the moment. With each other, at least both nations would be a little safer.
Mexico’s reply caused the blonde to suddenly let out a dry, hollow laugh. “As fine as you can get”. How true the words sounded then. Belgium’s head fell forward slightly as she continued to chuckle in a voice that was empty; lacking emotion. Still laughing quietly under her breath, Emma stood upright and let out a sigh, broken by the brief hiccups of empty laughter that snagged her throat.
“So you've seen things too?” she whispered, a faint smile edging across her lips as dull green eyes locked onto deep brown. “You've felt things... known that there’s something else here. You can tell something is trying to kill us too.” Her words sounded bleak, yet Belgium knew how honest she was being. There was no way Mexico could have missed what was going on around them. Unless...
“Unless you were really that lucky to avoid it, ja?”
[Mexi, I can't believe it took me so long to reply! I am so sorry for the delay. I hope this post was all right.]
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Post by Mexico on Nov 12, 2012 20:47:51 GMT -6
The thing about breaking is that once you reach that point there is no coming back. Mexico feared that once she got lost she could never find herself again. What was past it anyway? People always talk about what it feels to be reaching breaking point, but what about once you cross that point? Does feeling cease to exist because there is nothing left to hold you together? Mexico had learned that the absence of emotions can turn out to be more dangerous than being angry or scared. There is no limitations, nothing that makes us reason or pull back. There is no right or wrong. No, her breaking point was not nearly around the corner. She could take more. She could stand more. Her history had taught her that when you fall you get back up. Because Ana María knew that if she broke there would be small pieces of crystal scattered across endless rooms and pathways. She would hurt herself trying to put the pieces back together, and some, so small they're invisible, would be lost. She would not be complete or the same.
Mexico looked at Belgium trying to seem stable. If she had come across another she would be looking for reassurance that maybe she was exaggerating and everything was really okay. She wanted to offer her some comfort and at the same time comfort herself. But then the European girl whispered.
“So you've seen things too?”
And Mexico didn't want to pretend. She wanted to be honest for a change. She wanted to share what she saw, what she felt and what she was listening to. If only to provide the others with enough tools to protect themselves, because no one knew for certain what laid inside this place. Ana María looked at the wall next to her, and placed her hand against the concrete once more. Normally she would avoid having this conversation for fear of being judged. Mexico was a liar but she did not like it when people didn't believe her. There was a reason why she was saying what she was, even if it wasn't true. Most of them didn't even know why she opted to stick with dishonesty. They knew what she did, not what she'd been through. They knew what she said, not why she said it. They didn't know her intentions.
“You've felt things... known that there’s something else here. You can tell something is trying to kill us too.”
Ana María sighed. She was unsure if what she felt in Belgium's voice was fear. If she was scared she did not wish to be the one to induce it even further. But maybe the blonde was looking for someone to confirm what she was witnessing. Few really appreciate the benefit of the doubt. Few realize that agreeing with someone who states he or she is not crazy can make a big difference.
“Unless you were really that lucky to avoid it, ja?”
Ana María looked at Emma. She could tell the other was tired and wanted to feel peace, if only for a second. To feel safe and at home. The Latin American girl sighed. But decided that what she was about to say could actually be important. "No. Lucky, no."[/color] She shook her head slowly from side to side. She was taking her time trying to organize the right words to say. It wasn't something she could afford to take lightly. Ever since her encounter with that monster, Mexico was well aware that she was at a state of war. The Manor, one way or another, had declared war on all the nations here. It was tempting them. It was provoking them. Ana María was not a fan of threats and this house had threatened her. As of now she was at war. And tactics needed to be planned.
"I have seen things. I have seen monstruos. Pero what scares me most, is the voices."[/color] She paused for a moment, leaning closer towards Belgium, as mean of protection rather that anything else. The girl felt watched, and it made her uncomfortable. Perhaps being inside was irresponsible and unsafe. It would be wiser to talk and potentially plot outside, where they were farther within reach of the manor. But for now, it'd have to do. "I do not mean to scare you."[/color] She said softly. "I do not know if you can hear them, but there are people trapped inside these walls. Their spirits are roaming around. It makes me wonder-"[/color] Mexico traced the wall in small rivulet motions. She wanted to make out a picture but nothing came to mind. "At times I fear that if we die, we too will end trapped. I was thinking that maybe this place works as a human being, so maybe it has a weak point. And if you find a weak point, you attack."[/color]
Ana María turned towards Emma, hoping she understood what she meant. She was unsure wether the Belgian had assumed the same combat position she had, but something told her they would need it.
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(You're back! *glomps*)
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Post by Deleted on Jan 8, 2013 16:33:44 GMT -6
Despite the fact Belgium herself hardly knew the woman who was now her company, it was easy, no, obvious to see how Mexico was fighting to keep herself together. Even if Ana Maria was trying to hide it. So, it seemed they both had one thing in common. Two lost female nations, alone in the darkness as they tried to do all they could to prevent themselves from crumbling away. From breaking down. From loosing themselves in this nightmare. But maybe, if they both had someone to cling onto they could both save each other. Yes, Belgium made a silent promise to herself to do all she could to help the Mexican. And maybe that would help keep herself intact as well. She dared not admit it, but Emma was almost jealous that the Hispanic woman seemed to be keeping herself together so well. Of course, there was only so long that could last. No matter how much the nations had been through, there was still that human side to them; that mortal spirit that kept them in reality. That was what Belgium believed. Maybe it was her small excuse to try and cover up the fact that she, a nation, was afraid. For she would be lying if she said she wasn't. But when Mexico spoke again, Belgium was surprised at her own reaction to those words. Words with sinister meanings and thoughts; bleak ideas of people, spirits trapped in walls and yet... Emma laughed. It was a soft, raspy laugh; more of a giggle than anything. Like she was amused somehow, by what had been said. Or a laugh that was released because what Ana Maria had said seemed obvious? Belgium couldn't tell herself what caused her to react that way. "I wonder how long they've been there, then," the blonde mumbled, the tiniest weak smile painting her lips. "I wonder if some of them might be... us. From another time. Us from the future, still trapped in this hell hole with no means of escape. If we die here, will our countries, our people die too?"The words were rolling off her tongue before she even thought of them. But they were questions that had been nagging at her for a while now. Questions that would probably remain unanswered until they themselves reached the stage when the nations would pass... What a sickening thought. It was incomprehensible to imagine that once great nations would be reduced to nothing. Or loose their minds. Even if the world itself was such a mad place. Her eyes glazed over slightly as they locked on Mexico's darker orbs, yet unseeing and barely noticing the world around. The fragile smile on her face dropped once more as the green of her irises seemed to dull from some unknown emotion that was eating at her thoughts. "Im not the best company, am I? I'm sorry about that, Ana Maria..." Again, the Belgian trailed off as she bit down on her lip, swallowing thinking a lump forming in her throat. "Do you mind if I call you by your human name? I hope I don't seem rude at all."After all, it seemed they would be spending a lot of time together at this rate. It was nice for the company, after all. Even if Emma wasn't in her usual sociable mood. She just wanted to be with someone. If the situation was different, this might have been a much more enjoyable chat. Getting to know another nations, maybe making a new friend.... This time, when Emma smiled it was completely natural. She looked up, eyes bright again for a moment as she faced her Latin American companion. "You can call me Emma, if you'd like to. I don't mind."
v.v I am terrible at replying to this. Sorry for my forgetfulness/laziness/muse block, Mexi. I know this wasn't great, but I hope you don't mind.
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Post by Mexico on Jan 11, 2013 21:18:20 GMT -6
Ana María pressed her back firmly against the wall. She could feel the friction between her shoulder blades and the piercing and immense concrete walls that were all around them. This hallway had no windows, no doors. It was an endless path that haunted dreams. Haunted sanity because just when you thought it was over, it started again. A maze. A maze tricks the mind. It makes it go in circles. It gives hope, it takes hope. It runs on adrenaline and then sucks out all the energy. A maze exhausts the being that lives in it, until eventually it gets lost. And how long are we lost before we find our way back again?
How long had they been there? What day was it? Time passed by so slowly, so quickly. A minute seemed like an hour, an hour seemed like a second. Barely when hanging on to what seems to be the right answer, it slips away into nothingness. There was no way of saying what time it was either. Time was a human invention. It only existed in our minds. We could work without it, given the proper preparation. Simply being deprived from it. Being torn apart by an ideal, it was painful and maddening.
Ana María's hands rested at the sides of her body, her arms against the wall. It was cold. It was empty. Her right hand started to move forward, her fingers never lifted from the ground. It went up her thigh, pressing firmly against the dress that covered her. It went up her stomach, feeling the nasty hunger pains that seemed to drift her into a state of numbness by the second. She had never gone so much without eating. She knew what it was like to starve. At times she didn't have a choice. There was no food to eat here, but her body didn't seem to understand it. It was a weird sensation of being levitated, her head spinning in slow and precise circles, her eyes wanting to close and at the same time fighting to stay open. She leaned her head against the wall softly, any brutal movement made her painfully dizzy. It was all quiet, sweetly, and softly.
Her hand kept stopped as it reached her collarbones. She felt the skin that extended over her skeleton almost like a wrapper. She couldn't decide how she looked, and neither did she really care at the moment. Ana María was tired and worn, and her physical appearance at the moment would resemble that. Mostly she wanted the headache to go away. It limited her ability to really think about stuff. It made it difficult to understand her surroundings, to act accordingly. However, one sound that stood up among the rest was that of a laugh. A laugh which intentions were unclear. Mexico merely moved her head to the side to try and understand how on earth was Belgium laughing. Were her words really that amusing? Was she joking? What was so undeniably funny that would cause laughter in a moment like this? Ana María wanted to know. She was curious to see if there was something that she was clearly missing. She rolled her eyes.
"I wonder how long they've been there, then, I wonder if some of them might be... us. From another time. Us from the future, still trapped in this hell hole with no means of escape. If we die here, will our countries, our people die too?"
The us from the future would be resting under gravestones. The us from the future would be trapped inside bodies that did not belong. They would roam eternity looking for peace. The us from the future, dead and helpless, would be sitting on hallways wondering why it all had ended. Trying to understand where it all went terribly wrong. It was such a morbid thought. It was filled with a darkness that Mexico profoundly disliked. No, the us from the future should be at home working out their everyday issues. Alive, breathing, singing, eating, living. Not surviving. Ana María shrugged. She really didn't want to think about it. If they did there then the people which they represented ceased to exist as a whole. There was nothing tying them together. What kept them from slipping into someone or something else?
"I do not know. But I do not think they die. I think they change."[/color]
"Im not the best company, am I? I'm sorry about that, Ana Maria... Do you mind if I call you by your human name? I hope I don't seem rude at all."
Now Ana let out a small chuckle. She almost grinned, but her face was too stiff for such movement. Company. Hospitality. Her traditions. Mandatory. It was so seemed so silly to think about at the moment. There was nothing hospitable about this place. It made you feel terrible. It wanted to kill you. It wanted to see the nations begging for forgiveness. But Belgium was right. In some weird sense that Mexico had deduced, she was right. Just because they were trapped did not mean that they should let their personalities disappear or be overwhelm by the continuing sight of pain and sadness.
"You can call me Emma, if you'd like to. I don't mind."
"I don't mind you calling me by my human name. I enjoy it, really. Y do not worry. You are not bad company. I also don't like to be alone. Especially not here."[/color]
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Post by Deleted on Jan 25, 2013 17:49:09 GMT -6
"I don't mind you calling me by my human name. I enjoy it, really. Y do not worry. You are not bad company. I also don't like to be alone. Especially not here."
Those words were surprising comforting for the Belgian woman. Her gaze shifted to meet the other woman’s, and she smiled more naturally. Now that she thought about it, when was the last time Belgium had actually been happy here? It felt nice to smile; like a weight was lifted from her shoulders for a moment. Before they had ever entered the mansion, Emma had always been the nation who never seemed to stop smiling. But now it almost seemed hard to force her expression to portray happiness. Because nobody could ever be happy in a place like this. They would all be broken down, beaten in by this place until all that would be left would be nothing more than an empty shell.
And so, to actually smile honestly felt like some great step for Emma. It was a giant step for herself. She was going to try and push away the morbid thoughts that entered her head at that moment and try to enjoy Mexico’s... no... Ana Maria’s company. Belgium was going to make an effort to try and be the woman she once was before this manor got to her head and changed her. They had to grasp onto any last strands of sanity they had left, and if that meant simply making an effort to try and be happy, Belgium was going to do that.
“Let’s try not to dwell on all this miserable talk of ghosts and death,” Belgium suddenly piped up in a surprisingly cheery tone. She gave the Latin American nation a small wink and a nod of her head, as though reassuring her that they would feel much better if they both tried smiling. “All that is doing is making everybody feel depressed. It’s bad enough that were stuck in such a dreadful place without upsetting ourselves as well.” Her famous cat-like grin that she would always wear before they were ever in this situation appeared, lighting up her face instantly and making her olive green eyes appear much brighter. Ah yes, this was the Belgie all the other nations knew and loved. The outgoing woman who always seemed happy. Whilst she was far from experiencing the emotion of happiness, the blonde woman was getting much closer to it than she had been before. Suddenly, the atmosphere was relaxed now that the two women had agreed to be on a more friendly basis with each other.
Whilst Emma could easily have said that really, it was strange for her to be so relaxed around another nation who she hardly knew (especially in a setting where you had no idea if something was lurking around the corner just waiting to attack), yet she was simply focusing her mind on trying to enjoy Ana Maria’s company. That should not be so hard at all. They were both sociable women, who had gotten along well up until that point. It would be easy to keep a positive outlook in the Mexican woman’s company. And hopefully, she would feel the same about the Belgian. Their relationship would be able to benefit both of them.
“Ah, I forgot to ask you!” Belgium snapped her fingers when the thought came to her mind and she span on her heels to face the other woman straight on. “Have you seen any of the other nations? Maybe my brothers? I’ve barely come into contact with anyone since I got here, and I’m really worried about my family.” Her stomach sank just a little at that, as did the smile that she had been wearing proudly on her face not a moment before. Oh dear, it seemed her mood was changing again. But, if Mexico had seen Lars, that was a good thing. Yes, try and look at the positive side of things.
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Why would I want to destroy something I helped build?
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Post by Mexico on Feb 7, 2013 18:12:28 GMT -6
"Let's try not to dwell on all this miserable talk of ghosts and death,"
Belgium was right. It didn't dwell to be trapped in thoughts that would only make them feel more pain than anything else. It was better if they just talked about something else entirely. Something that wasn't work, or business, or countries. What would Ana María want to talk with Emma if this too was still a party? Two girls, just having fun. Reckless and loud and completely free to do as they pleased. Except, it was easier said than done. Mexico made an effort. She really did. But she couldn't ignore the feeling that kept nagging her at the back of her mind. Like there was something not to be ignored. Something she specifically, shouldn't ignore.
She took a deep breath. Happy talk. Happy talk. It was all emotional, it was all mental. Her misery only existed inside of her head. It was the consequence of what she had witnessed, what this place made her feel. But just because you feel something doesn't mean it's real. It doesn't mean it actually exists. Mexico had read somewhere that memories aren't that reliable, because what we think of the moment is highly influenced by our emotions and feelings at the time. So what is reality anyway? What is the ultimate truth if not what we make it. Ana María had two choices. She could either kept on the gruesome thinking of foul emotions and ghosts and death, or she could simply try again and think of something better. Something worth thinking about.
"All that is doing is making everybody feel depressed. It's bad enough that were stuck in such a dreadful place without upsetting ourselves as well."
Ana María glanced at Emma and saw the smile on her head. It was the sort of smile that one wouldn't expect in a place like this. It was uncommonly natural. It made the European girl's eyes sparkle in that nice shade of emerald green. It was the same cat-like smile that she had seen before. It sent a relieved feeling through her veins, as though she was finally able to breathe again. Her grin was so hypnotic that Ana María couldn't help but smile too. She was unsure whether her face had brightened up the same way the Belgian's did, but that didn't matter. What mattered was that she had smiled. For once in this gruesome place she had smiled. She was not happy. She wasn't gloating with joy and a seemingly endless reserve of optimism, but she was smiling. Maybe she should just pretend she was happy until she finally was.
"Ah, I forgot to ask you!"
Mexico looked up at Emma as she snapped her fingers. She wondered what she wanted to ask her. It could be so many things. Like what's your favorite color? Or are you a fan of Hip-Hop music? Suddenly her mind had relaxed to let in more silly thoughts flow.
"Have you seen any of the other nations? Maybe my brothers? I've barely come into contact with anyone since I got here, and I’m really worried about my family."
Oh. Mexico looked surprised for a moment because she honestly did not expect that question. It was an important question, and Ana María felt jealous for a moment. She wished she had siblings to worry about. Sure, she had a family and her latino cousins were so dear to her that they were almost precious. But cousins aren't the same as siblings. She never liked being alone. Because at the end of the day, friends or no friends, it was just your family left, and they make your existence less lonely. She wanted to have a sibling, if not for just a moment.
"Oh. Well I've seen Turkey, and Prussia, Canada and Portugal. Sorry, I haven't seen your brother. But I'm sure he's fine. He's pretty tough. You'll find him soon enough."[/color] She really didn't know what to tell Emma except what she thought would make her feel more at ease. She wished she had seen the Netherlands, if just to bring her some comfort that she was probably in desperate need off. It would be so nice if she could bring the Benelux siblings together. She figured they would be missing each other terribly.
Ana María placed her hand on Belgium's shoulder and gently caressed her skin. She leaned closer to give her some comfort. That's what the Latin American woman would want if the roles were reversed.
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