Sadiq Adnan
Administrator
Bisexual.
30.
Played by Silv.
Offline.
We can only survive here, never truely live
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Post by Turkey on Sept 30, 2012 23:51:18 GMT -6
Sadiq could tell something was wrong with him, something wasn’t right at all. His anger was coming to easily these days. His anger was more, and he felt emotionally cold, not his happy, smiley self. He needed to figure out what was wrong, he needed to. With a sight, he trudged into the kitchen and opened the fridge, trying to see if there was any apple juice. If he couldn’t have a smoke, he was going to have apple juice. He hated cigerattes with a passion, but right now, he would gladly take one of them just to help him relax some. Apple juice worked just as well though. Of course he for once didn’t have the thermos of apple juice on him he usually did, and now he regretted it.
With a sigh, he opened the fridge only to close it again soon after. He could tell there was no apple juice in there and it upset him. Ignoring the cabinets and the pantry and everything else that might contain food, he went to sit at the small table that was in the kitchen usually reserved for the kitchen staff to partake of their own meal. Staring at the wall, he closed his eyes and tried his meditative methods; see if they would help to center him again. He could tell his center was off, was really off. Breathing in and out slowly, he brought his focus in until it was only on himself. He let himself float, float in himself, trying to recognize what his center was. It had shifted again and he needed to find it again. Hopefully he could re-center himself and get his emotions in control again, for his sake as well as others.
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Post by monaco on Oct 2, 2012 4:02:05 GMT -6
If she wanted to know everything she possibly could about the Manor, it was always best to explore and get a good layout as well as the basic idea of it. That was simple logic.
And so Ciel found herself entering the kitchen, which was located on the first floor. You could never know; the kitchen could be a crucial place to find something. It was no library; it didn’t have records or papers of any sort to tell her about the history of the Manor. But, perhaps, there were some recipes that the previous residents had left behind. Any information would be welcomed. She was expecting the room to be as clean and in well-kept condition as the others she had peeked into before.
What she didn’t expect, however, was someone to be sitting at the table.
Ciel nearly dropped her flashlight with a stifled squeak. Her heart thudded to a stop; skipping a beat once it restarted. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling, and she attempted to muffle her gasp for breath. She failed. Deep breathes, in and out.
Immediately after she recovered from her fright, she reprimanded herself from losing her calm manner even if it had been for a minute. As long as she and the other countries were trapped within the Manor, she couldn’t risk being caught off guard at any time. Cautiously this time, she re-focused the flashlight’s beam and examined the other. No immediate threat had come to her; whoever the figure was most likely a fellow nation, one who was also stumbling around. Of course, she couldn’t afford to be naïve, so she remained hovering by the doorway.
The first and foremost noticeable feature was the white mask they were wearing. Ciel only knew one person who wore a white mask like that, even despite the original purpose for coming to the Manor being a costume party. And right then and there, she was certain she knew who it was.
“Turkey?” Her voice was nearly a whisper, but filled with more relief than anything. She had, at long last, finally found someone else. Ciel hadn’t thought she’d be fortunate enough to meet another so soon. She could only hope and desperately wish that Turkey was real. That he was here. That it was actually him.
It was a comforting enough thought, at least.
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Sadiq Adnan
Administrator
Bisexual.
30.
Played by Silv.
Offline.
We can only survive here, never truely live
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Post by Turkey on Oct 18, 2012 20:51:18 GMT -6
He sat in the chair and hung his head in his hands. His thoughts were still dark, dark and twisted. He hadn’t had been able to shake the need to make others hurt, he still wanted to see the terrified expression on people’s faces, but he could override it still, he was still in control. If this was the manor, how much more could it affect him; how much could it make him do, how much it could it make him enjoy it….no, now was not the time to focus on this, now was the time to focus on stopping it, centering himself again. Once centered and he’d be fine, he always was.
Hearing the movement, he held his breath and just said there, hoping whatever it was would miss him and pass him by. He didn’t think he was in the right shape to deal with any monsters the manor might through at him. Hearing something drop made him jump and his eyes flung themselves open as they scanned the room, trying to find the source of the noise. They shot left and right in an attempt to find it only to land on Monaco. He sighed and slumped in his chair in relief, glad it was just one of his fellow nations. Lifting one of his legs, he used his foot to carefully push at the chair across from him as he nodded to the female nation. He knew it was rude of him to not get up and offer her a seat, but he just didn’t feel like holding to the politeness. Why spend extra energy being polite when just being basic right now, simple, easy to deal with and not get people offend at getting the manors wrong.
“Have a seat Miss Monaco. Sorry I can’t offer you anything to drink, there’s not much in the fridge.”
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Post by monaco on Oct 29, 2012 19:33:28 GMT -6
He seemed to be the genuine article, but Ciel still couldn’t be certain. She would have to use the utmost care to examine him. (Although she had met a few nations so far and they had always been the real thing, she was still paranoid.)
Gingerly, she stepped across the floor and carefully sat down. One couldn’t be too cautious, and one particular word that defined Ciel was most certainly ‘cautious’. Her eyes scanned his for any traces of possible deceit or underhanded tricks. She didn’t see anything like that, but instead finding his normally sharp brown eyes clouded, still framed with his signature white mask. Clouded with what exactly, she wasn’t sure just yet, but it was more than slightly unsettling.
“That is perfectly alright,” she chose her words with great care. “I would not have desired a drink in the first place.” Ciel attempted a smile, but she felt it easily change into a grimace. And it was true; she wasn’t hungry or thirsty, surprisingly, even though she had been trapped in the Manor for who knows how long.
She took a moment to study his tattered appearance, perusing the Turk meticulously. His outfit was torn, and seemed oddly monochrome in the strangest way. His garments used to be bright and colorful, and yet, they had a dull aura about them now. It was almost unnerving.
After a brief pause of silence, she spoke again. “Turkey, is there something the matter? You seem… distracted.” And she doesn’t blame him, not in the least bit, but maybe it was a way to clear some of the tense air in the kitchen. It set her on edge and she shifted, visibly uncomfortable.
But she was Monaco, Ciel Blanc, a nation well-known for her poker faces. She couldn’t spare a crack in her placid expression, not even for a fraction of a second. There was no possible way to tell what the outcome of this situation would be if she did.
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Sadiq Adnan
Administrator
Bisexual.
30.
Played by Silv.
Offline.
We can only survive here, never truely live
|
Post by Turkey on Nov 4, 2012 16:13:57 GMT -6
Sadiq watched her move over to the chair and sit down, his eyes tracking her every movement for any sign that she was going to do something other than sit. A random arm flinch could mean she was releasing a dagger in a sheath on her arm, small moves like that could mean the difference between life and death at the hands of another. Shaking his head quickly, he banished the thoughts and focused on the woman in front of him. He couldn’t sink into those thought and let it consume him into an unstable frame of mind.
“That is perfectly alright, I would not have desired a drink in the first place.”
He hummed at her comment and nodded and looked back to the fridge, making sure to keep one eye on her the entire time. He would never let anyone out of his sight. He watched the light reflect off of her glasses and he shrugged too. Not much else he could do. “Don’t blame you. Anyone could have put a slow acting poison or something in the drinks or in the food. Make us weaker slowly over time, leaving us more susceptible to the monsters in this place so they can toy with us.”
Internally he sighed. Like that wasn’t going to make her realize that something was going on in his head. Well, he could only hope that since she didn’t know him well, she would only take it as the mumblings of a paranoid Nation and not someone who was fighting off dark thoughts. Poisioning food was something he would do to mess with people, something he had done in the past before, and had enjoyed watching the poison take affect immensely. He enjoyed seeing the looks on the faces of his victims when they realized what he did. He had poisoned a few nations, and some humans. Taken a few out on the battle field too. Blinking again, he looked at his hands, hoping none of his thoughts had played out on his face. It was one of the reasons he wore a mask, to hide the area around his eyes from being read, from knowing what he was thinking.
Looking up at her next sentence, he realized that whole internal thought process had only taken seconds to complete. Sadiq knew he couldn’t let her know, he had to be his usual self, throw off all suspicion. He had to know what was going on in her head since he couldn’t read her…. Damn poker face of hers. He needed to know what she thought so he could counter it, make it so he could keep her from thinking something was wrong.
“Something the matter? Naw, why would you say that. Just have a lot on my mind with thinking about the manor and possible ways to escape, that’s all. Takes a lot to bother me. Is there something I can help you with Monaco? I’m afraid we never gotten to know each other very well. Tell me, how are you managing with the manor?”
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Post by monaco on Nov 12, 2012 10:14:15 GMT -6
He was talking far too fast and asking far too many questions in a far too short period of time. It was clear that Turkey wasn’t as stable as she had initially hoped. Ciel shifted in the seat to help make herself more comfortable. Her eyes were narrowed, scanning for any intimation of hostility. None was found; only what seemed to be paranoia was, edging closer to what she may have identified as desperation
This was Turkey. A nation who had seen many wars filled with plenty of bloodshed. And yet, even he was struggling to cope with the Manor’s terrible bleakness.
It was quite worrying.
“Tell me, how are you managing with the manor?”
Much better than you, she wanted to answer. But she refrained from speaking her thoughts aloud. Mainly out of respect for the elder country – after all, he had lived much, much longer than her – and possibly because she feared how truthful the statement really was. Ciel believed her mind to still be steady, unadulterated by the Manor, but there was a chance that she wasn’t as sane as she thought. She realized she was taking just a bit too long to answer.
“Well enough, I suppose,” Ciel said, her facial expressions betraying no sign of any emotion in particular. The words were clear and spoken purposefully. She adjusted her glasses and met his gaze straight on, refusing to back down. “And yourself? How have you been faring?” She would continue her careful examination, and was prepared to flee if necessary.
Ciel hoped it wouldn’t come to that.
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Sadiq Adnan
Administrator
Bisexual.
30.
Played by Silv.
Offline.
We can only survive here, never truely live
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Post by Turkey on Nov 23, 2012 20:01:11 GMT -6
He sat there and watched her. He didn’t know what to do. He was too jittery, he needed to do something and he couldn’t tell what. His back was literally against the wall so nothing could come at him from that angle. He couldn’t focus, couldn’t think beyond a few sentences at a time. Looking around, everything seemed much darker to him, much bleaker. It seemed as if he could see shadows climbing the walls and devouring the light it found.
“I’m doing good, I’m fi-.” He stopped in the middle of his sentence and shook his head. He didn’t know her well, wasn’t close to her… but perhaps that was better. With someone who didn’t know him well, they couldn’t be hurt by his behaviors and actions now. She wouldn’t feel that pain of watching someone she cared for start losing it.
“Mona. I think I’m losing it… I know I am. I’m a paranoid person by nature, but it’s getting worse. Everything seems darker, I find myself constantly looking over my shoulder, not knowing who I can trust and who I can’t. I already switched back to old behaviors once with Feliciano, and while he helped me, it’s not working anymore. I’ve remembered who I am now and what things mean to me, but it’s not helping. There’s just so much darkness around. Darkness on the walls and in my head. There’s holes in my memory of stuff before this party. Pieces are missing. Tell me, how do you get rid of the darkness once it’s started to invade?”
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Post by monaco on Dec 5, 2012 18:55:05 GMT -6
She hadn’t quite been expecting that. In fact, she didn’t know what she was expecting in the first place, but most certainly not a lengthy confession. Especially so easily, with just the slightest bit of nudging.
If anything, it was only more worrisome.
Now she knew for absolute certainty that Turkey was fairly unstable; he had just admitted it to Ciel herself. She would have to offer a panacea for the situation (at least, as much of a panacea she could give in this situation. She wasn’t exactly known for giving advice –she was only known for her vast knowledge.
Which didn’t necessarily mean she could give good advice.
He had already met with Italy, reverting back to his time as the Ottoman Empire. That couldn’t have gone well, especially since it was the fact that it was Italy.
”Counter the darkness with its opposite,” Ciel said simply. “The light moments, the happy moments at a pinnacle in your time as a Nation… Remember the most pleasant times you can.” She took a moment and paused.
”I think,” she began again, slowly, gingerly, cautiously, ”that you need to stop, take a moment to slow down and just think. Try to reminiscence. Start to fit the puzzle pieces with each other, stitching together the gaps in your memory. One thing is always linked to another. You just need to find that connection.”
The key, in these desperate times, was confidence. One cannot waver while giving another advice; if they do, they are showing how incompetent feel and, in truth, how incompetent they actually are. Even if someone was to offer good advice, but with poor wording and low self-esteem, then the words would have no effect and the listener would simply ignore them.
Ciel hoped she sounded more confident than she felt.
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Sadiq Adnan
Administrator
Bisexual.
30.
Played by Silv.
Offline.
We can only survive here, never truely live
|
Post by Turkey on Dec 13, 2012 14:26:40 GMT -6
Uncrossing his arms, he layed his hands on the table and listened. As her words sunk in, he closed his eyes and tried to meditate again, her voice even and with a hit of a melody in his ears. He used that hint to help him. Music always did affect him. Taking a deep breath, he let it wash over him. Forcing himself to take a step back mentally, he forced his muscles to relax and take internal stock of what was him and what was this new self that was always on edge. Tracing the patterns in his head, he looked for the good times he had.
First to come at him were the negative, all the fighting he always did with Greece, the time he killed Greece’s mother. All the pain and suffering he had caused to the Nations he had ruled over, the times when the little Greek had tried to kill him, the things he had put the Italian nations through. Shoving those thoughts away, he acknowledged them and waited. He had done many things in the past that had caused pain to others. Soon enough, thoughts of his brother came in; the only one that had supported him no matter what. After that came image after image of when he had bandaged up the little Greek after he had scraped his knee, the close friendships he had with Ukraine and with Francis back in the day. Then came more recent memories. Yes he fought with Greece, but it was usually a mutual releasing of tension in a moderately safe way, how they helped each other during the earthquakes, of his friendship with Mathias. Of his people. Even if he couldn’t feel his citizens anymore, they still needed him. He felt himself sit a little straighter in the chair. Who knew what would happen to the actual Nation if the Personification their mind….would the nation suffer? Would there be a shift in anything going on in the Nation? He had to keep himself sane even if it was just for his people.
Pulling himself out of the slight trance he had put himself in, Sadiq moved his hands lightly on the table, feeling the wood grains under his fingers. This was real. This was stable. Now he just had to figure what else was real. Opening his eyes, he smiled at her. “Why is it so easy to lose sight of important things and focus on the unimportant?” Standing up, he moved slowly around the table before kneeling in front of the smaller woman and wrapped his arms around her in a hug.
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Post by monaco on Jan 21, 2013 19:18:07 GMT -6
She watched as his eyes closed as she spoke, hoping and hoping that they were having some effect on him. A few minutes passed, and Ciel waited, anxiously. She was apprehensive; what if she had said something wrong? What if he couldn’t remember any of the good times, and only death and blood remained? What if there was a negative effect instead of a positive one? There were too many other ‘what if’s and Ciel attempted to still her mind and calm herself. Panicking most certainly wouldn’t help Turkey, not in the slightest, and she would retain her composure. She was very thankful that the other Nation had been preoccupied with something else and wasn’t observing her worried twitching.
When his eyes finally opened again, they were much clear than they had previously been before, and Ciel felt a wave of relief wash over her. She exhaled deeply, and smiled at him.
“Why is it so easy to lose sight of important things and focus on the unimportant?”
She was taken aback as the other Nation stood up, steadily made his way over to her, already looking more stable. He kneeled before her, and pulled her into a hug. She muffled an undignified squeak before it could be heard at the sudden physical contact, and her body tensed. Ciel forced herself to relax and bear with it, but bit her lip, uncomfortable.
After a few moments, Ciel gently shifted to signal she would like to be released. ”Distractions come easily to us, even as Nations. We are partly Human, after all, yet we are not. Humans like to concentrate on small-scale conflicts and problems to avert their eyes from what’s truly important, for some unfathomable reason. Therefore, as we are anthropomorphic personifications of Nations and we inherit our people’s wants, desires and goals, we have also inherited the Human characteristic of distracting ourselves. We have evolved over time to look the other way and pretend our problems are not there, and have also unfortunately learned to tuck away such important memories at the same time.” She paused for a moment, finished with her short and rather philosophical speech, and looked directly into a pair of brown eyes framed by a white mask that almost seemed to glow in the kitchen’s dim lighting. ”Do you understand my logic?”
It was most likely an unnecessary question, but she asked it all the same. She had never really spoken about what it means to be a Nation, but has had existential crises before. This was the first time she had ever opened up to someone else about what she thought, even if it was just grazing lightly upon the subject. But being in the Manor for so long… It had most certainly changed how Ciel felt about being a Nation. She had begun not to take what seemed like eternal life for granted, and was beginning to realize just how fragile Nations truly were.
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Sadiq Adnan
Administrator
Bisexual.
30.
Played by Silv.
Offline.
We can only survive here, never truely live
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Post by Turkey on Feb 7, 2013 15:27:59 GMT -6
Turkey was a touchy feely nation by nature. He was always one to lend a hand when needed or offer a shoulder to cry on. He was known for putting his nose into peoples businesses and for inviting himself into conversations. So really, to him, his hugging Monaco shouldn’t have been surprised by the hug, but she was. He could tell with the slight squeak. The tensing of her body told him she wasn't used to or didn’t like close contact with people, but oh well. He always did ignore people personal space on purpose; it was one of the ways he knew of how to break the ice and get people to open up. It broke the silence usually and got people involved when they we outside of the events that were going on. He ignored it now just like he usually did. She deserved a hug for helping him, so she was going to get one.
Letting her go slowly, he listened to her explanation and could only blink in response. He wasn't a stupid nation by any means, and frankly no nation could afford to be stupid, but a lot of the explanation went right over his head. Sadiq knew that sometimes he had to have things explained to him in simplified terms when others understood it the first time, but that was how it went. Not everyone understood things in the same way that others did.
"I think I understand what you said… but that was a rather complicated way to say that we have a lot in common with the humans we represent…am I right?”
Backing away, he sat back down in the seat he had before, he found himself yawning thought he wasn’t tired. He couldn’t think of anything else to say now. After thinking for a bit on everything, he mentally facepalmed. Monaco had helped him, but perhaps she needed to talk about something, perhaps something was bothering her. Not asking her was rude and taking advantage, and those were two things he tried not to do when he could help it… well, at least the taking advantage. He knew he could be considered rude and an ass, but that was usually accidental unless someone got on Sadiq’s bad side.
“Is there something I can do to pay you back? Something I can help you understand? Anything at all? I hate to leave a debt unpaid.”
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